The Inner Voice of Who Knows What

the pilgrimage: Henri Nouwen and my own topsy-turvy little heart

Writer’s block.

Behold, the reason for revisiting the blog.

Thoughts from a girl who loves to write, who fears vulnerability,
… and who knows that she THRIVES when the two work together.

I am blocked.
I try time and time again to write –
to bare my soul for the benefit of its healing (or the benefit of others?),
to spill out the turmoil inside and free it, to see on paper some resolution and maybe proof that I’m all better.
That I’ve worked through all my deep dark damaged issues,
and here behold a nicely put-together personal memoir with a happy ending to this journey.

But damn. My heart is more messy than this.
And damn, if I am honest with myself… I have no desire to be honest.
Then what will people think of me?
Who will I be, if all my imperfections are laid out for all to see?
What light do I have, if my darkness is exposed?

I am in process.
I know I need to write, but I fear the vulnerability.
I block myself from the healing, with the fear of honesty clogging the path to authenticity…
I am process of coming un-blocked.

Dear readers, please be patient with me.


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